What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and how has it impacted your journey so far?

Sex! Lingerie! Knock knock jokes!

Make Nazis afraid again!

Only zombies dig to rock and roll, daddy-O!

Is it common for girlfriends to have close male friends who are single and not related to them?

Yes, Tess, crime doesn't pay but apparently Rated-G horror does.

Shameless vixen! Trollop!

Before there was MAGA there was … the Comics Code Authority

Have you been arrested or investigated?

And I ended up moonlighting in Japanese porn, but the less said about that the better.

¡Explotando Dick por todos lados!

Times might be tough … But at least there's one thing we all agree on.

I caught my husband of 20 years looking at inappropriate pics of women on TikTok or Instagram. I'm not sure., but when I told him he got mad and made excuses of why they popped up. I then told him how I've snuck on his phone and saw what he's been looking at . We had a horrible big fight. I asked him why did he even marry me when I see the type he likes . Nothing like me, I'm petite, blonde and blue eyes. These women are dark haired dark eyed and have curvy bodies, large breasts, etc. I just don't feel the same about him after this. I can't get over this

At least until the peyote kicks in ...

Gadzooks! It's Torchy Todd slumming it in Yugoslavian science fiction! The shame!

And then working as Betty and Veronica's body doubles ...

Can I use ChatGPT to get chapter ideas? I’ll be writing it with my own words but I just get writer’s block when it comes to what to write?

Just you, me, in a vat of lime jello, pulling hair, calling each other names …

After you lather me up with that strawberry hand lotion.

I've also been making ends meet ... By appearing in Tijuana splatter comics as Evil Gringo #2.

I've never read the book. What did Dorian Grey do that was so immoral and sinful?

Remember, kids, masturbation will make you see the devil everywhere!

Dick! I heard about the lay-off. What's a square-jaw crime fighter doing these days to bring in the bling?

Torchy thinks: Maybe I could play a gangster's moll since apparently smoking is still seen as wholesome and American.

Why does my intimate area “sweat” and smell so much? I almost have to have a shower everyday. How do I get rid of this?

I hear you're a stunt-double now for Fred in Scooby-Doo.

TEXT:

Tess' boyfriend, Ed, now works as a Peter Lorre impersonator.

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Let's do what we always do, lay around half-naked while men make terrible jokes at our expense.

In order to answer this I came up with a little story that goes like this …

Two letters of transit signed by General De Gaulle … Stimpy, you eediot!

What seemingly minor decision or moment in your past ended up having a massive impact on your entire life trajectory?

Speaking of which, poor Cleo Coco has ended up appearing in anti-vice pamphlets.

Every day is a good day to punch a Nazi! I mean MAGA! I mean the Comics Code Authority! (I can never remember who is who)

Marijuana makes Jesus cry!

Nintendo will finally reveal more about Donkey Kong Bananza in new Direct - Polygon

But Tess! I mean Betty! I mean Veronica! (I can never remember who is who) which ever one you are, I love you!

Of all the layoffs, Torchy Todd and her gal pal, Tess Parker, were hit the hardest.

In 1954 complete bastard and censorship campaigner Fredric Wertham published a book for the stated goal of creating a moral panic around comic book's alleged impact on juvenile delinquency. Much like the House Committee on Un-American Activities' disastrous impact on the film industry, the Comics Code Authority (obey, puny humans) put many hardworking comic book characters out of work all because of one poorly written book called …

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Perhaps now we can explore what being a “gal pal” really means.

“Your boyfriend is a total perv, mommy.”

Ironically, Wertham focused on stories about crime, singling out Batman and Robin for its gay subtext and Dick Tracy for its violence.

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Torchy, we're unemployed … And no one is hiring scantily-clad wastrels these days.